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Your 10-month journey to being a better parent

Or how to go from ‘accidental’ parenting to being ‘the BEST parent you can be for your child’

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February 2, 2014

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

February 2, 2014
2
May 10, 2015

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

May 10, 2015
3
June 21, 2016

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

June 21, 2016
4

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

5

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

6

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

7

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

8

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

9

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

10

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

11

The birth of mankind

Something really big happened around this period of time. It affected all of humanity. That explains everything.

Month 1

You start Chapter 1 – The Essentials of Parent-Child Cooperation

Here, you will learn how to quickly and calmly handle your kid’s most common refusals: refusal to sleep, eat, brush their teeth, turn the TV off, share toys, sleep in their own bed or dress appropriately for weather/occasion

At the end of this chapter, your child will say “Yes, Mummy”, more and more often, and you’ll hear “No!” and “I don’t want to!” less and less often.

  • “Getting kids to listen? Sure! If I yell loud enough.”
  • “My child would not do anything I ask”
  • “My kids doing chores? In what parallel universe?
  • “Limiting screen time for my 2-year-old? Too late! My toddler is already addicted to TV.

Learn where refusals and misbehavior come from. Is your 3-year-old not listening or not following directions? Kids are not going to bed early enough, and that affects their school performance? Imagining how good limiting screen time for your kids would be, but can’t handle the tantrums and whinings that follow? Is parenting alongside your partner a good cop – bad cop thing? You want to discipline, but the only results are chaotic family interactions and angry kids?

All children’s refusals usually stem from the same place. Basic needs that are not met. You don’t even get the chance to ask for it, and the answer is “No!” or “I don’t want to!”. The first chapter of the program will help you acknowledge that you are facing common parenting issues. It will show you how to return to the basics.

Learn how to talk so kids will listen. Get picky eaters to try new food without forcing or threatening. Convince them to do chores or finish their homework without yelling and nagging. Show them how to be friendly and open, to share their toys or snacks without turning them into obeying people pleasers. Get them to sleep in their bed, brush their teeth or dress appropriately without using threats or bribes.

Understand your parenting style and that of your partner. See what psychological needs drive your child’s behavior and how you can get their cooperation. Discover simple techniques like planning ahead and sequencing to prevent resistance. Learn how to work with natural consequences when correcting misbehavior to enhance experiential learning. Understand why by using a conditional “Yes” instead of dismissing your child’s request you model communication skills that your child can pick up on.

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Month 2

You begin Chapter 2 – The Fundamentals of a Balanced Parent

Here, you’ll learn how fluctuating between permissiveness (this notion of giving your kid all the things you didn’t have) and strictness (an approach in which an over-involved parent comes up with rules or punishment along the lines of “you do what I say while under my roof”) has a detrimental impact on your child. By the end of this Chapter, you’ll know:

  • What it means to be a “permissive parent” and why being permissive and spoiling your child can lead you to irresponsibility.
  • What it means to be an “authoritarian parent” and how damaging it is for children to be raised with punishment, forceful rules and too much responsibility
  • How a child’s brain develops and why it’s not wise to have certain expectations from a child up until a certain age (such as expecting them to regulate their emotions or understand what “5 more minutes means” when we’re talking on the phone)
  • “What does my child hear me saying most often? – Whatever you do, don’t wake daddy!
  • “When my 3-year-old’s behavior is out of control, my wife treats it with candy.”
  • “Guiding behavior and enforcing limits? How? My child doesn’t care about consequences

First scenario. You give in at the first frown, lower lip quiver, or welled-up eyes, even if you strongly disagree with the decision you’re about to make. This might be one of the signs that you are a permissive parent. While you could imagine that you and your child will be besties for life when following this approach, you might not think of the damage it can cause. Children of permissive parents sometimes fail to take on responsibility. They disapprove of rules and authority and might even blame others for their mistakes. 

Second scenario. You believe that children’s opinions should be kept for choosing ice cream flavors, not for serious things like discipline and education. Parents are the ones that must set rules for children and make sure they’re followed no matter what. The end justifies the means. Every strategy is a good strategy if it gets children to comply. Punishment and harshness are not bad things if you don’t overdo it. This approach might describe you as an authoritarian parent. Children of authoritarian parents may sometimes struggle with low self-esteem, an inability to manage strong emotions, and difficulties in maintaining healthy relationships.

In this chapter, we will discuss parenting styles and their immediate and long-term effects on children. Although we all want to find balance in our parenting skills and practices, this sounds more like a cliché than an attainable goal to many. Let’s debunk this myth once and for all. Parenting shouldn’t be a struggle. Children are not fierce creatures that need to be tamed. They can behave, be responsible, and be motivated. 

Discover how to get children to cooperate and perform without putting a lot of pressure on them. Learn how to set rules and apply consequences without taking all their freedom away. Make them listen without raising your voice. Gain insight into the basics of becoming a balanced parent. Be on the same page with your partner in front of your kids, even if your parenting styles are different. Involve all your children’s caregivers and bring more consistency in how you address your children’s behavior at home and in any other surroundings.

You will also understand that our behavior and choices are driven by the goal of fulfilling our most basic needs. This chapter contains an easy-to-follow introduction about the 3 Basic Psychological Needs and how they impact our daily functioning and well-being.

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Month 3

Time to start Chapter 3 – Self-Esteem and Optimal Motivation

Time to start Chapter 3 – Self-Esteem and Optimal Motivation.

Here you’ll learn how to work through all those moments when your child isn’t sure of themselves, they’re shy or afraid, or they say, “But I don’t know how to do it! I can’t do it! You do it! I don’t understand! Olivia is better than me at maths! I’m the worst!”

After you apply the techniques in this Chapter, you will have a child who faces criticism with their head held high and takes feedback as a learning opportunity instead of a failure

  • “I don’t know how to motivate my child to do his homework. It’s like he doesn’t even care about grades anymore”
  • How to be patient with my kids?” They’re superstars at sports, but wouldn’t do anything for school.

What is going on with my child? This is a question parents ask themselves when their kid is failing at math or is still not that great at baseball after many hours of practice. The truth is that there are many factors that contribute to failure. And failure itself is not the biggest elephant in the room, although it’s the one that gets the most attention. 

Success cannot be forced. Like Einstein said, we cannot evaluate fish by their ability to climb trees. Some talents are innate and others have to be nurtured. The first thing is to understand what drives people, what motivates them. 

In chapter 3, we talk about how to get children optimally motivated. You will learn how to help them thrive and how to enhance their self-esteem. Many children struggle because they are unable to see failure as part of a learning process. Either because we, as parents and caregivers, put a lot of pressure on them or because they lose their confidence along the way. 

Discover what makes a child engage in certain activities, and bluntly dismisses others. Learn about the differences between self-esteem, image-esteem and egocentrism and how they are linked to your child’s motivation. See what lies behind your kid’s shyness and introversion and how to help them build a voice, without forcing them out of their comfort zone. Understand why your perfectionism doesn’t raise your child’s spirit and doesn’t get things going, instead causes more harm. Become aware of the fact that comparisons are not uplifting when trying to motivate a child and learn about healthy alternatives to make them consider other perspectives. 

All the techniques in Chapter 3 are scientifically proven to help your children become the best versions of themselves, considering their gifts, their rhythm, and their desires alongside your expectations as their parents.

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Month 4

On to Chapter 4 – A Competent Child Is a Responsible Child

Here you’ll see how you can raise a child who doesn’t leave their dirty socks lying around, toys scattered across the floor, or a dirty plate on the table.

In other words, your child will understand more and more what their responsibilities are and will take them on. You will know how to hand over certain responsibilities to your child and how to help them become competent, without nagging or policing them and without you doing things for them.

  • How can kids be motivated to be responsible without arguing with them?
  • How can I convince mykids to do their chores? It’s mission impossible.

Parenthood is an incredible journey filled with new confrontations at every turn. One of these challenges is to succeed in discovering what motivates children to be both competent and responsible at the same time. All parents want a child who can make their own decisions and fulfill their obligations on time. The chores for our kids must correspond to their age, but how do we know exactly when it is time to start giving them these responsibilities?

The fourth chapter of the programme will teach you how to raise a responsible and competent child. You will pass through all stages of child development and understand better what tasks are suitable for him depending on their age. For example, you will understand when and how to make your children pick up toys and put them in a designated bin, make the bed, help to water plants and assist in simple meal preparation, laundry, or vacuuming. Before you notice, your son or your daughter will take initiative and cultivate his own independence.

This initiatory journey that your child must go through to become a competent adult is sometimes full of obstacles. This chapter will provide you with answers to questions, solutions to problems, and concrete examples to help you become your child’s guide throughout this journey.

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Month 5

You start Chapter 5 – Top Methods for Getting Kids to Cooperate

In this chapter you will see how you can avoid situations where:

  • You have to tell your child 100 times to turn off the television;
  • Your child pushes away a plate full of their favorite food, after you worked hard to cook it;
  • Your child ignores your requests to clean up their toys;
  • Your child throws a tantrum in the middle of the store when you refuse to buy them the toy they want.

After going through this chapter, you’ll have a child who hears you, who understands what you ask of them, who says “yes, mom” more and more often. And all these because you now know how to establish rules they actually follow, and how to obtain their cooperation without punishment, bribes, threats or giving in.

  • How to stop your child from watching TV? Seems like it’s the only thing they care about.
  • My child ignores all of my requests. How can I make them listen to me?

How many times have you found yourself exasperated having to repeatedly tell your child to turn off the TV, dealing with their refusal to eat a plate of food you worked hard to cook, facing resistance when asking them to clean up their toys, and handling temper tantrums in stores when they don’t get the toy they want.

As a parent, you yearn for a calm kid, and that’s exactly what this chapter will provide.

Our specialists will guide you through the top methods for getting kids to cooperate. You’ll gain insights into why your child resists your requests and discover the essential “do’s” and “don’ts” that nurture a positive parent-child relationship. Learn how to effectively communicate and talk so kids will listen, and how to navigate challenging situations with ease.

Moreover, we’ll tackle the issue of screen time and provide strategies to limit it without tears or arguments. Get ready to witness the transformation as your child begins to say “yes, mom” or “yes, dad” more and more often, demonstrating their growing understanding and willingness to cooperate.

You’ll find detailed explanations and practical solutions, offering the tools you need to establish rules and boundaries for your child to follow. It will get easier to find cooperation without resorting to punishment, bribes, and threats.

Remember, temper tantrums and defiance can be transformed into cooperation and understanding. This chapter will equip you with the knowledge and skills to create a more harmonious family environment. Get ready to discover the joy of having a calm and cooperative kid, making parenting a truly rewarding experience.

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Month 6

You start Chapter 6 – Solving Problems and Making Decisions

Step by step, you’re going to learn what to do when your kid comes to you with a problem so that you can teach them to be resourceful when you’re not able to help them or when they find themselves in very challenging situations.

  • Your child comes to you to tell on another child for taking their toy;
  • Your child wants to give up football, ballet, swimming, or another activity because some other child in their class makes fun of them or picks on them.
  • Your child is unable to resolve some conflict with another child and keeps asking you to step in.

 

At the end of this chapter, you will have a child who knows how to handle conflicts, whether they have a fight over a toy or another child is picking on them.

  •  How on earth can I teach my child to handle conflicts all by himself? Like when another child snatches his toy? My kid just starts yelling or hitting, I’m tired of always having to step in! 
  • How can I support my child in building resilience and staying engaged in activities like football, ballet, or swimming, even when they’re teased and bullied by all the other kids in the class? I need strategies that really work!

Throughout this chapter, you’ll discover how to navigate common scenarios, such as when your child approaches you to tell you a kid took their toy, when they want to quit an activity due to teasing or bullying, or when they struggle to resolve conflicts with their peers and constantly rely on you to intervene.

While we, as parents, may perceive their reasons as having simple solutions, it’s crucial to understand that our children don’t view it the same way. To them, these situations can feel like genuine disasters since they haven’t acquired the skills to navigate them yet. This chapter will guide you through a systematic process, enabling you to acquire effective strategies for addressing your child’s issues and teaching them to be resourceful when you’re not there to intervene.

In addressing the question of “how to help your child calm down” we will delve into the topic of emotions and the importance of teaching children to identify and manage their feelings effectively. First and foremost, children need to learn to recognize and control their own emotions. You can’t solve a crisis if you don’t know exactly what you’re feeling and can’t name it. Helping them identify the main issue can enable them to make better decisions to resolve it. By helping them understand why conflicts occur, we empower them to make better choices.

In this chapter, you’ll discover step by step the most efficient calm-down strategies for kids. Witness the growth of a confident and capable child who can tackle problems head-on. By the end of this chapter, you’ll have a child who can effectively handle conflicts and make sound decisions, setting them on a path toward personal growth and success.

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Bonus

Bonus Chapter - Managing Conflicts between Children

Do you often find yourself yelling at your children to stop fighting? Managing Conflicts Between Children is a bonus short course that you’ll receive as a gift. You’ll learn exactly when to intervene and what to say to ensure your kids take ownership of their disagreements and squabbles.

  • It’s hard to be a calm parent when your last drop of energy went into sorting a fight over a toy;
  • Why is my daughter so mean to me if I ask her to watch after her baby brother?
  • It feels like mission impossible when I think about how to make my play nicely together while I prepare dinner.

Are you tired of constantly raising your voice and yelling at your children when they can’t seem to stop fighting? Well, we have a treat for you—an additional short chapter called “Managing Conflicts Between Children.” We will provide you with valuable insights on knowing the right moments to step in and the best words to use so that your kids can learn to take responsibility for their disagreements and squabbles. Say farewell to the constant chaos and hello to peaceful resolutions within your family.

We’ll delve into the principles of positive parenting and effective child-rearing techniques. You’ll receive a comprehensive parent guide that offers practical strategies for managing conflicts and fostering a harmonious environment at home. From setting clear expectations to encouraging open communication, you’ll discover the tools you need to guide your children through challenging moments and nurture their emotional intelligence.

Through this bonus chapter, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of conflict resolution and the importance of teaching your children valuable life skills. By empowering your children to take ownership of their disagreements, you’ll be equipping them with the tools they need to navigate conflicts independently, leading to a more harmonious and connected healthy family dynamic.

So, let’s stop the endless yelling matches and welcome a new chapter of peaceful resolutions. This short chapter will empower you to be the calm and confident parent your children need.

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Month 7

Now on to Chapter 7 – Managing Emotions

In this chapter, you’ll look at how to manage situations where:

Your child breaks down in tears because they don’t like the shoes you put on their feet;

Your child screams and shouts, even hits you, when you ask them to turn off the television;

A simple trip to the store turns into a nightmare where your kid is screaming, kicking, and rolling on the ground;

And, most importantly, you’ll see how to bring peace and calm when everyone is on edge and no one can hold back their negative emotions.

You will see how to raise a child who doesn’t get into a fight every time they feel fear or anger, a more balanced child, who is emotionally and even physically healthier, since fear and stress are harmful to our physical health.

  • I just want my child to tell me what he feels so I know how to help him. 
  • My son hits himself when he’s angry. We were always so gentle with him. Where does he get it from;
  • My experience with temper tantrums? I’m being elegantly kicked by my son if I say no to something;
  • How to talk so kids will listen? I tried kindness, bribing, and threatening in more than one language. Not working.

Do you find it challenging to maintain self-control when your child puts you in difficult situations? If managing your emotions doesn’t come naturally, this chapter is here to help. So many parents find themselves parenting in ways that resemble how their own parents raised them, even though they had vowed never to do the same. It can be quite perplexing and even frustrating. We’re here to shed light on this mystery and help you uncover the underlying reasons behind it. Together, we’ll explore the fascinating dynamics of parenting and discover how you can navigate this journey with newfound awareness and intention. Get ready to break free from old patterns and create the loving and connected parenting experience you’ve always envisioned.

Whether you’re a first-time parent or already have a couple of kids, get ready for a shift in the way you understand and handle children’s anger. In this chapter, we’ll take a deep dive into the fascinating world of the brain. More precisely, you will find out what’s happening when we experience anger and stress. Because let’s face it, children experience these emotions, and so do you! Therefore, it is to your advantage to gain insights into what’s really going on inside their little minds and learn effective strategies for anger management.

Imagine a world where criticism, blame, complaining, nagging, threatening, punishing, rewarding, or bribing are replaced with something far more empowering. In this chapter, we invite you to explore the transformative power of healthy thinking and communication in your parent-child relationship. You see, all of the actions just mentioned have something in common – they inherently sabotage relationships. They create a disconnect, leaving children feeling unvalued, unappreciated, and lacking control. It’s as if we’re saying, “I can’t change. That’s just who I am. I am that, or I am this.” But here’s the thing: we have the power to change, evolve, and create a new path.

If going to the store is a nightmare for you because your child is screaming, kicking, and rolling on the ground as you refuse to buy that ice cream or new game. For those situations, we’ll equip you with practical techniques on how to deal with temper tantrums or anger outbursts in public places. You’ll come to realize that emotions are messengers, delivering important insights about our needs, desires, and experiences. Instead of labeling them as right or wrong, you’ll learn to see further than “You are a bad mom. I hate you!”.  You will see there might be your child’s need to be seen or valued.

Throughout this chapter, we’ll provide practical tools and strategies for emotional intelligence, helping you and your children develop a healthy relationship with emotions, especially anger. They will learn how to regulate their emotions. With time you will look at your son or daughter and see a balanced and emotionally resilient child. 

Are you still not wondering why dedicate a whole chapter to managing emotions? Well, modern psychology tells us that there it’s a close connection between emotional well-being and physical health. By being assertive in your child’s emotional growth, you’re creating a solid foundation for a balanced family dynamic.

Let’s take another step in your mindful parenting journey and cultivate essential emotional intelligence traits that are vital for a healthy family dynamic.

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Month 8

You’re now at Chapter 8 – How to Prevent and Deal With Challenging Behaviour

You’re now at Chapter 8 – How to Prevent and Deal With Challenging Behaviour

In this Chapter, you’re going to learn what to do when your child talks back, saying hurtful things or sticks their tongue out – without resorting to punishment or saying damaging things like “You’re awful” or “I can’t stand you.”

By the end of this Chapter:

  • You’re going to learn what to do when your child talks back or says something mean, without reinforcing the behavior they’re exhibiting.
  • You’ll know how to raise a kid who knows how to politely greet others, wait quietly in the waiting room at the doctor’s office, or get on the bus without causing havoc.
  • You’ll understand how to manage power struggles between you and your child, especially in those moments when they stamp their feet or throw themselves on the ground.
  • Why is it so hard to make a child listen to his parents;
  • He tells me “I don’t love you anymore” if I don’t buy sweets every time we go to the store. Why is my 3-year-old so mean to me;
  • In our house, we cannot go without punishments for our 4-year-old. She is just not listening.

Welcome to Chapter 8 – How to Prevent and Deal With Challenging Behavior!

In this chapter, we embark on a journey to navigate the stormy waters of challenging behavior with compassion and add powerful instruments to your parental toolkit. We understand the frustration and heartache that can arise when your child talks back, says hurtful things or sticks their tongue out. Learn how to deal with these behaviors without resorting to punishment threats.

Our goal is to empower you to address these behaviors in a way that promotes growth and understanding, without inadvertently reinforcing negative patterns. We will help you recognize the underlying factors contributing to these behaviors and respond in a manner that promotes positive change.

Thinking of teaching good manners to your kids? We’ve got you covered. Imagine teaching your child how to have good manners and appropriate behavior in various settings. Imagine the joy of seeing your child politely greet others, wait patiently in a doctor’s office, or board the bus without causing chaos. These small victories, achieved through patience and guidance, will fill your heart with pride and confidence that your child is off to a great start in life.

Do power struggles leave you feeling overwhelmed and defeated? We understand the toll it takes on your spirit. Discover the techniques that will help you manage these challenging moments. Gain the power to diffuse conflicts and guide your child towards healthier ways of expressing their needs.

Throughout this chapter, we will provide you with science-based solutions but also encourage you to seek a deep emotional connection. Feel the immense joy of witnessing your child’s growth, witnessing their transformation into individuals who embody kindness, respect, and self-control.

Get ready for another voyage of personal growth and transformation. Together, we’ll navigate the stormy seas of challenging behavior, fostering an environment of love, and understanding.

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Month 9

Moving into Chapter 9 — Discipline and Consequences

This is the game-changer chapter for parents in a frustrating scenario because their children don’t seem to listen or act responsibly. It is designed to address the very heart of the matter: understanding and navigating difficult behavior when it feels like nothing else is working.

If you’ve ever experienced moments where your toddler ignores you or your child consistently fails to heed your instructions, here is your beacon of hope. It equips you with effective discipline techniques that blend firmness with warmth, all while preserving the precious parent-child bond.

  • Getting my 10-year-old to do his homework on time? Of course, I just have to turn into a screaming mom and he does it straight away: 
  • I keep losing my temper with my toddler because everything should be his way;
  • If we want to turn off the TV my kid is yelling from the top of his lungs, so I either give up or start a fight.
Through the guidance provided, you’ll discover practical strategies to tackle common issues like pick-up toys, room tidiness, and instances where your child exhibits aggressive behavior towards siblings or others. You’ll make sense of how to communicate expectations, set boundaries, and implement consequences in a manner that resonates with your child.  Throughout this chapter, you will understand how natural and logical consequences work to enable you to guide your child’s behavior in a way that aligns with their learning and growth. By allowing natural consequences to occur and implementing logical consequences thoughtfully, you can help your child develop important life skills, responsibility, and accountability. Discover the empowering path of allowing your children to take ownership of their decisions and make choices for themselves while understanding the potential consequences. Instead of relying solely on punitive measures, shift your focus towards implementing logical consequences that impart valuable lessons. No longer will your instructions fall on deaf ears; instead, you’ll experience the satisfaction of hearing those affirming words more frequently. Say “bye” to the days of feeling unheard or disheartened, and get ready to embrace a new era of “Yes, Mom!” and “Yes, Dad!”.

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Month 10

Next is Chapter 10 — Getting All Family Members On Board

This chapter is an essential step in your 10-month journey. Throughout this chapter, you will uncover the power of family councils, where every voice is heard and valued. These gatherings create a safe space for open and honest communication, allowing each family member to contribute their thoughts, ideas, and concerns. Coming together regularly will strengthen the bond between you and your loved ones, cultivating a shared sense of purpose and collaboration.

Embracing quality time as a precious gift is another key aspect explored in this chapter. Discover ways to create meaningful connections and treasured memories with your family, whether through shared activities, outings, or simply enjoying moments of togetherness. By prioritizing these experiences, you deepen the love and understanding that binds your family unit.

  • Our family routine? They run the show whenever their dad is in charge. It’s like I have 4 kids instead of 3;
  • Time for myself after becoming a mom? Give my toddler a definition of what that means, please;
  • My kids are not listening to me anymore when granny visits. I become invisible;
  • My partner would let our child watch TV all day. Of course, I’m the bad one.
Respecting each other’s parenting styles is another crucial aspect that this chapter addresses. You will learn to embrace the diversity within your family, recognizing and appreciating the unique approaches each parent brings. Through understanding and mutual respect, you will build a healthy family environment where different parenting perspectives can coexist and thrive.

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