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Why your kid hates school: 5 steps to get your kid to do homework and love learning

Uncover 5 expert steps to inspire your child to embrace homework and cultivate a genuine love for learning. Find out why kids hate school and elevate your parenting to foster a positive academic experience for your child. Join us for insights that go beyond the classroom!

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why do kids hate school

Here’s the Insight From Our Parenting Experts On Why Do Kids Hate School

Why do kids hate school? Statistics show that less than half of children enjoy going to school most of the time and believe that what they learn in class is not beneficial outside the school environment. How did we get here, and what can we do about it as parents?

  • ‘Why is school so boring?’
  • ‘I hate homework!’
  • ‘I don’t want to go to school!’
  • ‘I hate this teacher!’

These statements are extremely common among students of all ages and parents find themselves at their wit’s end to try to persuade their children that school is important. 

Kids are naturally curious and love to learn new things. When they start school, it’s supposed to support this love of learning. But sometimes, we hear about kids who would rather pretend they’re sick than go to school. So, what’s happening during school hours that’s affecting their excitement to learn, and how can we help get it back?

Children who feel overwhelmed or intimidated by the content they’re learning can develop a lack of motivation. They might say things like ‘I don’t want to go to school’ or ‘I hate this teacher,’ when what they really mean to say is ‘I’m not engaged’ or ‘I’m struggling with this subject.’ The absence of interest in some subjects being taught is one of the main reasons why kids hate school.

Every child is unique, with their own way of learning, pace, and needs. Some might prefer hands-on activities, while others might learn better through listening or reading. When the teaching style in school doesn’t match their preferred way of learning, they might lose interest. Some kids might need more time to grasp concepts, while others get bored if the pace is too slow. This individuality can sometimes clash with the general approach of schooling, where one teaching method is often applied to all. 

Additionally, their experiences with friends and classmates, as well as the attitudes and parenting styles they encounter at home, can significantly influence their feelings about school and are among the top reasons why kids hate school

Parental pressure, although often well-intentioned, can significantly contribute to a child’s lack of motivation and dislike for school. Striking a balance between encouraging high standards and overburdening children is a delicate task. High expectations can sometimes lead to stress, anxiety, and a fear of failure in children. It can make school and learning seem like a chore rather than a journey of discovery and growth. 

Not allowing children much space and autonomy to chase other passions points directly to another reason why kids hate school. Who would love learning new things when they’re being forced or pressured? Is school really about getting straight A’s? Is it about teaching them to be good members of society? Is it about helping them succeed in life? The results seem to be counterproductive, looking at how many kids hate school

The love of learning starts at home. Ensure that your involvement and expectations are supportive and not overwhelming. Encourage your child to explore their interests, value their efforts, and support them in their challenges. Foster resilience and the understanding that success comes in many forms, not just grades on a report card. Not rising up to expectations is why kids hate school the most, sometimes. 

It’s important to have expectations, but they should be realistic and attainable. Setting the bar too high can lead to unnecessary stress and feelings of inadequacy. Help your child understand that setbacks and failures are a part of learning and growing. Teach them to see these moments as opportunities to learn and improve.

Then, address issues at school. Education should spark curiosity, and to do this, the material needs to be digestible, relatable, and engaging. If your child doesn’t understand their lessons, they might feel frustrated or incompetent. Talk to them about their school responsibilities, identify their pain points, and work with their teachers to devise strategies to bridge the gap.

Join us for an online event if you want to get more practical techniques on how to revive your child’s love for learning and improve their school performance. Our parenting experts are eager to assist you on your parenting journey. Here, you will find a variety of online parenting classes to enroll in.

References

Youth Truth N.G.O. (2022). Learning from student voice: Are students engaged? Youth Truth Survey.

Zahedani, Z. Z., Rezaee, R., Yazdani, Z., Bagheri, S., & Nabeiei, P. (2016). The influence of parenting style on academic achievement and career path. Journal of Advances in Medical Education & Professionalism, 4(3), 130-134. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4927255/

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Your Parenting Trainer

Lead Trainer at All About Parenting

Patrick Ney is a Neurodevelopmental Specialist who has been working with parents at All About Parenting for 5 years. He is husband to Maja and father to 2 beautiful daughters, Zofia and Mia. Patrick joined All About Parenting, determined to become a better parent before becoming a Certified Trainer. To date, he has run over 1000 workshops, events, and masterclasses for more than 100,000 parents.

Patrick is certified in a range of other methodologies, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Solution Focused Brief Therapy, and the HANDLE Methodology for neurodiverse children. He is a Certified DIR Floortime Practitioner and has been described as a ‘natural born play therapist.’ Patrick bases his work with parents on neuroscience, studying Applied Neuroscience at the Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience at King’s College London. Patrick has appeared as a TEDx speaker, and his first book, ‘The Storm: How To Stop Shouting At Your Kids’ will be published in Autumn 2022.

But more than anything else, Patrick is a father. His love for his daughters has led him on a journey to being a better dad for his girls and sharing that story with other parents. His work inspires thousands of parents to start learning parenting, and he shares both his successes and his many failures.

Frequently Asked Questions

If we asked how many kids hate school, the answer might surprise us. A lot of kids say they hate school, at least a little bit. This feeling can come from different places. Some kids struggle with the schoolwork itself, finding it too hard or not interesting. Others might have a tough time with the social part, like making friends or fitting in.

Here’s what you can do:

First, nurture a positive attitude toward learning in your family. Have books, educational games, and creative materials easily accessible at home. This environment should be one where learning is seen as an enjoyable and everyday activity, not just a school-related task. Show enthusiasm when your child asks questions, even if they seem trivial. Encourage them to explore their curiosities and interests. This could be as simple as looking up information together or visiting places related to their interests, like museums or science centers. Fostering a love of learning in general can significantly impact a child’s interest and engagement in school. 

Next, gather more information about their social interactions at school. Talk to your child, their teachers, and possibly other parents to get a full picture of what’s happening during school hours. Consider if there are any underlying issues, such as learning difficulties, social anxiety, or emotional distress. Sometimes, the overall dynamics of a peer group can be challenging. Cliques, gossip, shifting friendships, and even bullying can create an unstable and stressful social environment.

The reasons why do kids hate school and develop a refusal to attend classes, whether stemming from social, emotional, or academic distress, hold profound and tangible significance for them. As a parent or caregiver, it’s important to acknowledge and address these issues with understanding and support. By showing empathy, patience, and active engagement in addressing their concerns, you can help your child navigate their challenges and develop a more positive view of school.

When kids don’t feel good at school, they might start to act out. This can happen when their needs aren’t being met. They might feel like they don’t belong or be really stressed or worried. Sometimes, they’re just bored because the way things are taught doesn’t grab their attention. Here’s what you can do when your child is misbehaving at school:

First, use empathy. When kids misbehave, it’s often a sign that something else is going on with them. They might be dealing with feelings or situations that they don’t know how to handle. So, it’s not just about them breaking rules or having a child not listening at school.  Sometimes, behavior that seems negative on the surface is a reaction to a deeper issue. if your child is acting out in class, it could be due to difficulties in understanding the material, feeling bullied or excluded by classmates, or even issues at home that are distracting them.

You could encourage them to open up by asking questions that can’t be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. For example, “What made you feel that way?” “Why is school so boring to you?” or “What happened right before you started acting out?”

Second, avoid shaming or punishment. Try to understand the context. Was your child reacting to a specific situation? Were they influenced by peers? Understanding the circumstances can help in addressing the problem more effectively. Before jumping to conclusions or implementing consequences, take time to understand the whole situation.

Lastly, stay firm with family rules and values. Make sure your child understands the rules of your household and the values you hold dear. This could include honesty, respect for others, or the importance of trying your best. Regular conversations about these topics can help reinforce their importance.

By taking the time to understand the full context and underlying reasons for your child’s behavior, you can respond in a way that is not only fair but also supportive and constructive. This approach not only addresses the immediate issue but also contributes to your child’s long-term emotional and social development.

 

Are you curious about why do kids hate school? Many kids start out being really excited to learn. You’ve probably seen this when they’re young and asking “Why?” about everything. They seem so eager to understand the world around them. But, sometimes, when these same kids start school, things can change a lot. It turns into ‘I don’t want to go to school; I’m not learning anything there.’  They might not seem as excited about learning anymore. Here’s why this happens and what can be done to help:

The first step is to create a safe space for sharing thoughts and feelings. It’s important to do this in a way that doesn’t make them feel pressured or judged. Encourage them to express themselves freely. As they talk, listen carefully for clues that might point to the root of the issue. 

Figure out what exactly they don’t like about school. Is it a certain subject, the way classes are taught, or something going on with their friends? Observing their behavior on school days can provide additional insights. Do they seem particularly anxious or upset before certain classes or days of the week? Talking to your child and understanding their specific reasons can help a lot in reigniting their love of learning

Next, get more insights from the school. Sometimes, children might not be able to articulate their feelings fully. Teachers and peers can give you more information about what’s happening at school. They might know if your child is struggling with the lessons or having trouble with classmates. Teachers can also suggest ways to make learning more interesting for your child.

The reasons behind a child’s dislike for school can vary widely based on their individual experiences and challenges. However, by fostering a supportive and understanding environment at home, you can play a crucial role in helping them navigate these challenges. Regular, casual conversations about school can help you stay informed about your child’s experiences and feelings. This ongoing dialogue makes it easier to spot problems early and address them promptly.

When kids say, “Why is school so boring?” there’s usually more to it than just not liking school. It’s important to see that school can be tough for many reasons. There are hard tests, friend problems, wanting to do well, finding some subjects tricky, and having to get used to new stuff. This means we should think about why kids hate school or why they say school is boring. Maybe it’s more about school being hard or not interesting enough for them.

First, it’s really important for parents and teachers to help kids talk more about what they’re feeling. Instead of just saying school is boring, kids can learn to say exactly what’s bothering them. Is the math too hard? Do they feel lonely at recess? Maybe they’re just not excited about what they’re learning.

Second, let’s look at two labels that could make kids describe the school as “boring.” These are challenging and unstimulating

Think about the word “challenging.” When school feels tough, a kid might just say it’s boring because that’s an easy way to put it. But “boring” can mean a lot of things. It’s good to ask kids to explain more about why they feel that way about school.

Then, there’s “unstimulating.” This means some kids might learn faster or be more interested in certain subjects than others. If classes are all the same for everyone, some kids might not find them interesting. Teachers can help by giving these kids extra or different kinds of work to make school more exciting for them.

In short, when a child says school is boring, it’s a sign for grown-ups to really listen and find out what’s making school hard or not fun for them. This way, we can help make school a better place for them to learn and enjoy.

When your child doesn’t want to go to school, sometimes, it can be a bit tricky to figure out what to do. While it’s okay to let your child take a break from time to time – as long as they usually go to school and are engaged in their work – it could also backfire and become an unhealthy pattern. Here’s how to handle this situation in a smart way:

First, empathize and listen to your child. Ask them why they don’t want to go to school. Encourage your child to talk about their problems instead of avoiding school. If schoolwork is tough, maybe they need some extra help. If they have trouble with other kids, talk about ways to handle it. Keeping the conversation going can really help them.

Second, be firm about the rules. Make sure your child knows the rules about missing school. Tell them that they should only skip school for really important reasons, like being sick or a family emergency. Make it clear that they can’t miss school on days when they have tests or big projects.  If your child stays home and they’re not sick, they should still do something productive. This could be catching up on school work, reading, or helping around the house. This way, they’ll know that staying home isn’t just about relaxing and having fun.

Lastly, If your child says “I don’t want to school!” often, there might be a bigger problem. Maybe they’re dealing with bullying or finding their schoolwork too hard. Talk to their teachers and see if they’ve noticed anything. It’s important to find out why kids hate school or refuse to go. 

If your child is really struggling and feeling very anxious or sad about school, it might be good to talk to a counselor or psychologist. They can give extra help and make things easier for your child.

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41 customers reviewed

All parent reviews

Keira

09/21/2023

It’s so lovely to hear you talk about something I’ve struggled with in my professional career for many years, that the system doesn’t cater for all who have to endure it.

Jennifer

12/14/2023

Children’s need for connection. This is so important and it will affect them as adults in their relationship.

Upma

09/21/2023

This is self realization, i am in tears and feeling soo guilty of my behaviour

Paul

09/21/2023

Thanks of reminding about my role for Motivating them internally.

Lucie

09/21/2023

Listening to you be the overpowering parent… you have to do it, because it has to be done, makes me cringe each time because I have said it so many times! Definitely a rethink on how this will go in future

Violet

12/14/2023

The validation of everything we’ve experienced – test/ schools/ teachers act like the kids are a problem for having these natural needs!

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