Children perceive and interpret their environment differently than adults (Demetriou et al. 2017). As their brains mature, they’re trying to make sense of their surroundings and their place within them. They’re constantly learning, testing, experimenting, and adapting their behavior based on the responses they get. This is also known as learning through cause and effect (Sobel & Somerville, 2010).
Your influence on your child’s behavior is substantial. You are their primary role model and, consequently, the one they often mimic (Atif et al., 2022). Your interactions with them, the tone of your conversations, and your reactions to how they act play a pivotal role in shaping their behavior. But this is not all. It is equally important to recognize the role of inborn traits.
A balanced approach to shaping child behavior requires a combination of understanding and accepting natural predispositions and guiding them toward positive behaviors. Through open communication and active listening, we can get to know our child’s unique personality and tailor our parenting strategies to support their growth and development. In all instances, it is essential to approach your child with empathy, patience, and openness, creating a safe space for them to express their feelings and concerns. Learn how!
When we want to develop emotional intelligence in children, we strive to help them acquire good impulse control. We want to know how to deal with a child that cries over everything or how to get them to wait patiently for a few more minutes before they get the cookie.
We want them to use their words in conflicts, be resilient while solving problems, and make thoughtful decisions. Here are two of the most efficient ways:
First, you should aim to develop their emotional vocabulary. Most people dislike or can’t find the right words to share or describe their emotions (Lindquist et al., 2015). We’re sometimes afraid of rejection or not that willing to open up to avoid judgment.
If you aspire to raise an emotionally intelligent child, seize every chance to express your feelings with words and actions. For instance, during the drive back from school, share your day’s experiences. Don’t shy away from sharing negative emotions too, such as ‘I felt frustrated when… ‘, ‘I am overwhelmed… ‘, or ‘I got angry today over…’
When we keep negative feelings inside, we teach our kids to do the same. This simple act of sharing can develop your child’s emotional intelligence and improve their relationships.
It just might happen that the next time they feel like throwing a fight with a sibling or peer, they’ll know how to discuss their actual needs and feelings and solve problems in a positive way. Impulse control is the strongest indicator of emotional intelligence.
These are big words for a very simple thing. It means postponing immediate rewards or responses to increase one’s ability to be patient. It could also imply getting a bigger reward at the end of the wait (Twito et al., 2019).
Start with small steps. A kid who is used to getting their way could have a low tolerance for frustration. For example, ask for a few minutes to finish something until responding to their needs: ‘I heard what you said, I understand your need, and I will be available to help you in 5 minutes. Here is a timer to help us keep track.’ Always make it specific and keep your promise.
These two strategies are known to be very powerful in helping a child develop emotional intelligence.
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help.
Many parents will claim they have a sensitive child if their kid shows one of the following symptoms: they are either naturally introverted or some events or people trigger some old anxieties. Another symptom could be that they don’t show good emotional regulation skills in some circumstances. A highly sensitive child could cry or refuse to cooperate, have frequent tantrums or outbursts, or completely shut down, refusing to interact or share anything about their experience even when they’re visibly troubled (Hastings et al., 2010).
Here are a few tips on how to build confidence in a sensitive child. The things you should do and those you should stop doing:
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our smart AI assistant, is ready to help.
It could be distressing to hear a crying child and not be able to do much about it. Here’s what to pay attention to:
Child behavior is not always straightforward. This is why parents should start by patiently observing it before taking any action.
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Some childhood fears come and go, while others transform and stay with us throughout adulthood. All fears have an inborn fear in common, the fear of dying. This is why they are so vivid and why children and adults develop anxieties around them (Kuzujanakis, 2020). We do not share the same fears, or understand where some of them come from but we should always be considerate. Here is how to help an anxious child when frightened:
For more practical solutions on this or other topics, talk with Sophie, our clever AI assistant – she is ready to help.
Many parents would label their children’s unwanted behavior or unwillingness to cooperate as impulsive behavior. Backtalk, lying, hitting, bad words, tantrums, outbursts, sometimes even mild addictions. Some might even think of asking for the help of a child behavioral therapist.
In reality, the first thing to establish is that impulsive is the opposite of intentional. Intentionality requires thought, while impulsiveness is something you do without thinking (Rottman & Rosset, 2014). If you want your child to be less impulsive and more thoughtful, here’s what you can do:
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help.
If you ask most parents, they say that they only want their kids to be happy and healthy. But if you dig a little deeper, you’ll find they have a whole list of expectations and hopes (Liu et al, 2022). Here’s a look at some behavioral strengths of a child:
By focusing on these traits of positive child behavior, parents are preparing their kids to do well in life and make a good impact on those around them. All these qualities are the cornerstone for personal growth and success in life as an adult.
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help.
Recent research in child development has changed how we view temper tantrums and child behavior. Tantrums are a normal part of growing up that should be met with patience and understanding (Sisterhen & Wy, 2023). Time to forget the old wives’ tales of disciplining by forcing, ignoring, or constraining and switch to gently guiding our kids to surf through them. Here are some practical tips on how to manage temper tantrums effectively:
By adopting these strategies, you can help your child navigate their emotions more effectively, leading to fewer tantrums and a happier, more peaceful family life.
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help.
Children often feel most comfortable around their parents and other close family members, especially when they are very young (Solan, 2016). This can be a sign of a strong, secure bond but also a sign of separation anxiety in kids. Some parents might ask ‘why is my toddler so clingy?” and worry that if their child seems uneasy around people outside the family, this might affect their social skills as they grow. Here are some supportive steps you can take:
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help.
It’s a common concern among parents of kindergarteners that their children might display aggressive behaviors like hitting or biting (Murray Law, 2011). Often, these actions stem from emotional distress, which can be hard to pinpoint since parents are not present and information from caregivers might lack context. When biting at daycare becomes a problem, here’s how you can support your child:
This is how to stop a child from biting at daycare. These strategies aim to address the root of your child’s distress and equip them with tools to express themselves in more constructive ways.
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help. You can also read more about biting at daycare in this article titled “How to Stop a Child from Biting at Daycare: Nurturing Positive Social Behavior”.
Dealing with teenage attitude is a challenge many parents face. Adolescence is a time of significant change and development (Leppanen, 2020), and psychologists emphasize the importance of patience and maintaining open communication. Here are some effective strategies to help improve your relationship with your teen:
These strategies can help build a bridge of understanding and support between you and your teenager. It’s about balancing guidance with freedom, ensuring they know you’re their ally during this roller coaster phase of growth and becoming.
Do you need more practical solutions on this or other topics? Sophie, our clever AI assistant, is ready to help.
Bribes and rewards may seem like effective ways to influence children’s behavior, they are often ineffective in the long run. Bribes offer an immediate reward in return for compliance, whereas rewards are given as an incentive for a desired behavior. However, relying solely on external motivators can lead to unintended consequences. Bribes and rewards can foster a sense of entitlement, in which children expect to be rewarded for every action, decreasing intrinsic motivation. Constant dependence on external rewards can hinder the development of intrinsic values, character, and self-discipline.
Positive reinforcement is an effective parenting method in which desired behavior is rewarded for increasing the likelihood that it will be repeated. It involves praise, recognition, or incentives when a child exhibits behaviors that are consistent with the parent’s expectations or values. When using positive reinforcement, parents focus on highlighting and reinforcing their children’s positive actions, attitudes, or accomplishments. This approach encourages children to develop a sense of competence, self-esteem, and motivation.
Punishments and consequences are two different concepts in child rearing. Punishment refers to the intentional imposition of a penalty or negative outcome. It’s used as a means to discipline or correct a child’s misbehavior. It often involves causing discomfort or pain as a form of instilling discipline. In contrast, consequences are predictable outcomes that naturally follow a child’s actions or choices, whether positive or negative. The positive parenting approach emphasizes the use of natural and logical consequences. For example, allowing a child to be hungry after refusing to eat dinner or losing privileges for not showing responsibility. Effective discipline involves a balance between allowing natural consequences, applying predictable logical consequences, and providing appropriate guidance. This approach helps children learn from their behavior and make better choices in the future.
Rules and boundaries refer to the established guidelines and limits that parents set for their children’s behavior and actions. They provide a framework within which children learn to make their choices. Examples of rules and boundaries include guidelines for appropriate language and behavior, expectations for completing chores, limits on screen time or electronic device use, rules for safety practices such as wearing seat belts or helmets, and expectations for maintaining good hygiene and cleanliness. Enforcing rules and limits helps promote safety, responsibility, discipline, and a sense of structure in a child’s life.
Consistency in parenting refers to parents’ ability to maintain a predictable and reliable approach in their interactions and expectations with their children over time. This includes following through with rules, consequences, and routines without arbitrary changes or exceptions. Consistency gives children a sense of stability, security, and understanding of what is expected of them and provides predictability. It helps establish clear boundaries, promotes a sense of fairness, and supports the child’s understanding of cause and effect.
Parental demanding attitude refers to the extent to which parents set and enforce expectations, rules, and boundaries for their children. This includes setting clear guidelines and holding children accountable for their actions. Parents who demand discipline, structure, and high standards. They expect responsible behavior, self-control, and age-appropriate responsibility from their children. Parental exigency fosters a sense of responsibility, self-discipline, and respect for authority. It helps children develop important skills such as decision-making, goal-setting, and understanding the consequences of their actions. The degree of demandingness varies from one parenting style to another.
Parental responsiveness refers to the degree of sensitivity, attentiveness, and emotional availability that parents demonstrate in their interactions with their children. This includes the ability to understand and respond to the child’s needs, emotions, and signals in a supportive and nurturing way. Responsive parents actively listen, communicate openly, and validate their child’s feelings and perspectives. They demonstrate empathy, provide appropriate guidance, and foster a secure and trusting relationship. Parental responsiveness is critical to promoting healthy emotional development, secure attachment, and effective communication between parent and child. The degree of responsiveness varies from one parenting style to another.
Parenting styles refer to the different approaches and behaviors parents use in raising their children. They include the ways parents communicate with, discipline, and nurture their children. The four main parenting styles are authoritative, permissive, neglectful, and authoritarian. These styles are characterized by varying degrees of responsiveness, demandingness, and involvement in the child’s life. Each parenting style directly affects a child’s development and well-being. Therefore, it is important to understand the characteristics and effects of one’s parenting style to ensure optimal child development.
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