Decoding Your Child's Mind: A Science-Backed Guide to Their Basic Psychological Needs

This questionnaire is designed to make you understand how well you satisfy your child's three Basic Psychological Needs: Autonomy, Competence, and Relatedness. These elements are the foundation of your child's well-being and overall psychological development.

Time to complete: 2 minutes

What Will You Discover?

The quiz will guide you through a series of questions to gauge how well you are meeting these needs in your child’s life. The better we cater to the three Basic Psychological Needs, the more we pave the way for confident, resilient, and emotionally healthy children

Nurturing your child’s autonomy is much like giving them the courage to soar. By encouraging their independent decision-making, you amplify their self-belief and sense of self, guiding them to blossom into unique individuals (Assor et al., 2004).

When it comes to competence, it’s all about being their most enthusiastic cheerleader. Every obstacle your child overcomes with your enduring support creates resilience, tenacity, and confidence, equipping them to confidently face life’s ups and downs (Soenens et al., 2009).

Lastly, relatedness is about the special bond you cultivate with your child. This bond gives them emotional security as they venture into the world (Deci & Ryan, 2008). Your deep connection ensures they feel cared for, recognized, and validated. 

By exploring these aspects, you can enhance your parenting approach and ensure that you’re nurturing your child’s emotional growth optimally.

What do you have to do?

Understand your child’s psychological needs – autonomy, control, and relatedness, against a scale of five responses ranging from ‘never’ to ‘always’. Remember, this quiz is a guide, not a verdict. Use it to illuminate your parental path, adapting and growing along with your child. Happy questing, and remember – you’re not just ticking boxes, you’re paving the way for confident, resilient, and emotionally healthy children!

*This quiz serves as a preliminary assessment and does not possess the capacity to offer a formal diagnosis. The role of delivering an accurate diagnosis and determining subsequent steps falls within the purview of a trained medical practitioner such as a mental health professional.


Assor, A., Roth, G., & Deci, E. L. (2004). The emotional costs of parents’ conditional regard: A self-determination theory analysis. Journal of Personality, 72(1), 47-88.

Hu, T., Zheng, X., & Huang, M. (2020). Absence and Presence of Human Interaction: The Relationship Between Loneliness and Empathy. Frontiers in Psychology, 11.

Curwin, R. (march, 2012). Six reasons rewards don’t work. Retrieved November 28, 2022 from

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2008). Facilitating optimal motivation and psychological well-being across life’s domains. Canadian Psychology / Psychologie Canadienne, 49(1), 14–23.

Graziano, P. A., Reavis, R. D., Keane, S. P., & Calkins, S. D. (2007). The Role of Emotion Regulation and Children’s Early Academic Success. Journal of school psychology, 45(1), 3.

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78.

Sheinbaum, T., Kwapil, T. R., Ballespí, S., Mitjavila, M., Chun, C. A., & Silvia, P. J. (2015). Attachment style predicts affect, cognitive appraisals, and social functioning in daily life. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 124692.

Soenens, B., Vansteenkiste, M., & Sierens, E. (2009). How are parental psychological control and autonomy support related to adolescent well-being? A cluster-analytic approach. Journal of Marriage and Family, 71(1), 160-175.

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